The Ocean

"If the world's at large, why should I remain?
Walked away to another plan.
Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand.
I move onto another day,
to a whole new town with a whole new way."

Have you ever been in a place for far too long?
By the end, you are not the same person you were when you got there.
You begin to realize how much you have grown and have changed and you think back and try to see where those changes subtley occurred.  Could you have prevented them?
You begin to hate the person you are, the scenes you see, and the people around you.
You begin to feel small, tiny, meaningless, compressed, ordinary, the most alone you've ever been even though your cramped into a peanut-sized country with fifty million people that look just like you.

I have never felt so inconsequential in such a place before. 

"We'll float on maybe would you understand?
Gonna float on maybe would you understand?
We'll float on maybe would you understand?"

When you get to a new place, you are filled with monstrous dreams and goals, big enough to inflate you, to make you fearless, and fuel low moments in your days.

And then that darn thing called time plays its part and the monotony of life and routine makes you forget.  You forget why you came here. You forget what you wanted. You wonder how you got to the place you are now. 

In two months, I will have the ocean waves lapping onto my toes and nothing else, not you, not this place, not anything will matter in comparison.

"The days get shorter and the nights get cold.
I like the autumn but this place is getting old.
I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast.
It might not be a lot but I feel like I'm making the most."

I have always been jealous of people who are born near water, who get to grow up and live next to the ocean.  The Californians that I have met have this easy going air about them, this casual nonchalant, surferdude quality about them, down to the way they talk and the way they walk.  What worry in the world could you possibly have when the sound of the roaring ocean crashing onto the shore is apart of your everday?

Is it the same reason why everyone I know in Ontario who has travelled to British Columbia vow never to come back. Do these ocean dwellers even realize that some people only step foot in the ocean maybe once a year?

"I know that starting over is not what life's about.
But my thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth.
My thoughts were so loud I couldn't hear my mouth.
My thoughts were so loud."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxTmftNiDs8