Why men

They can't properly wash a dish to save their lives. If their favourite sports team is playing, or even an okay team, hell, if there is any sports team playing in the same league as the team they cheer for, you have suddenly become invisible.  You are as important as the dish rag hanging up to dry by the sink.

They lose their wallets.
They can never find their keys.
Laundry detergent and fabric softener throws them off balance.
They don't "Aww" at cute little toddlers doing cute little toddler things, but look on in disdain.

They can't take hints. 

Sometimes they are too clingy, too needy, too sweaty, and too out of fashion.
Sometimes theyre too into fashion.
Sometimes they can't shut up.
They don't always understand the unparallel joy of buying new shoes. Or why enduring the pain to wear them is worth it.

***

On Friday, I prepared a fun music lesson for my second graders.  In a nut shell, in teams of six, they had to put the lyrics of a popular English song back in order. I gave them scraps of paper with the cut up lyrics to Lady Gaga's Paparazzi song. All they had to do was listen to the song, and work together to put the strips of paper back together.  The first team who finished got candy.

For this activity to be successful, we needed, quite obviously, music. I had my laptop hooked up to the wide monitor in the classroom.  We got the video playing from YouTube and everything was fine except the sound was not working.

My female co-teacher and I literally exhausted our brains trying to get it to work.  The first class never got to play this activity because we could not figure it out. We restarted the computer three times, turned the monitor sound up and down, played around with the laptop settings, but to no avail. FINALLY, by the second class, fifteen minutes in, we get the male teacher from the classroom next door to come in. 

He walks in stiffly. Looks at the computer settings briefly, maybe ten seconds. He looks at the cords plugged into my laptop. He walks over to the hanging monitor and scans it. This has taken up roughly thirty seconds of his time.  He does not play around with settings mindlessly.  He doesn't try to jiggle the cords tighter into the laptop like it would do any good.

Then, suddenly, like he knew all along what the problem was, he puts his hand on the sound cord attached to my computer, follows it gently with his hand until he finds the other end of the cord lying in a pile on the ground not plugged into anything on the other side.  He does not laugh.  He does not sigh in disappointment.  He does not judge us with his eyes. He ever so gently plugs the other end of the sound cord into the hanging monitor and then my kids gasp as they hear a thunder of sound crashing through the speakers since my coteacher and I had turned every possible sound option to its maxium volume.

My coteacher and I smile embarrasingly and nod our heads forever grateful, he nods his head, gives us a small smile back, accepting our thanks, and walks back to his classroom.

I may be able to prepare a fantastic meal.
I may be able to bleed for five consecutive days and not die.
I may be able to walk around Seoul for 14 hours in four inch heels.
I could probably give birth like a champion.

But, I could not figure out the sound system to my laptop to save my life.

And that is why.

That is why the world needs men.